You have a killer online profile, you think. If you're not sure it's good, read my post Online Dating Profile Mistakes to ensure you have no red
flags to impede a perspective dater from being receptive to your profile. When you know that your profile is on track, the next logical question is... how do you connect with someone?
It’s important to be proactive when dating online. You have to remember that it’s a numbers game, pretty much like offline dating. If you don’t put the energy into reaching out to other daters, you will be waiting around hoping for someone to find you. Usually you will have a lot of inquires when you first sign up, but after the first 30 days, you will have to make a greater effort.
Many people make the mistake in giving up too quickly when they don't receive immediate responses. Don't take it personally. Online dating is a slippery slope, you must develop a thick skin. Online courtship is not for those who are easily offended, or have shaky self-esteem or don't react well with rejection. You have to build a tolerance because most of your messages will go unanswered but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong you. There are a multitude of reasons why someone won't respond to you.
Maybe you look too much like their ex, or you have cats and they are deathly allergic, or they just got serious with someone they're dating. There are also some people online who really are not interested in meeting anyone to date, they merely want to get an ego boost from a full inbox.
It’s important to be proactive when dating online. You have to remember that it’s a numbers game, pretty much like offline dating. If you don’t put the energy into reaching out to other daters, you will be waiting around hoping for someone to find you. Usually you will have a lot of inquires when you first sign up, but after the first 30 days, you will have to make a greater effort.
Many people make the mistake in giving up too quickly when they don't receive immediate responses. Don't take it personally. Online dating is a slippery slope, you must develop a thick skin. Online courtship is not for those who are easily offended, or have shaky self-esteem or don't react well with rejection. You have to build a tolerance because most of your messages will go unanswered but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong you. There are a multitude of reasons why someone won't respond to you.
Maybe you look too much like their ex, or you have cats and they are deathly allergic, or they just got serious with someone they're dating. There are also some people online who really are not interested in meeting anyone to date, they merely want to get an ego boost from a full inbox.
The following are a guidelines for introduction emails.
- Show that you read the profile - In your email, reference information from their profile. This will indicate to them that you've read what they careful shared with others. People want to be heard.
- Make it easy for them to answer - Generally, this means you should include a query or at least a comment that obviously begs for a response. You don't want to send a message that causes the recipient to struggle to figure out how to respond.
- Be complimentary - Praise is always an easy way to endear people to you. Just limit the praise to something about their personality or accomplishments and avoid physical compliments. Save physical compliments to your in person meeting.
- Be brief - Cap your first message at three or four sentences at the most. No one wants to read a long drawn out email. Keep it short and simple but end it with an open ended question so they have something to respond to. Ask yourself, if you received your written message, could you come up with a few different ways to respond?
People will appreciate the effort. It will be obvious to them you took the time to learn about them, instead of just peering at the pictures and sending a generic message that could be sent to anyone. But remember, you could do everything right and still not get a response back. There are no guarantees. Just put your best efforts into it and let things fall where they may.
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